My Blog List

Our mission

Are you that special person who - weary from trudging the endless superhighways - just longs to camp next to a glorious oasis of the mind? Do you desire to explore new frontiers, splash in shared ideas, fill your belly with the refreshing fruits of inspiration, and bask in the gentle rays of fond reflection?

Well, you can fuck right off. This, my friends, is not that place. This place is... The ShadowLands.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Farewell Margo's Maid, hello Asian Correspondent

The ShadowLands is about to go semi-pro after being swallowed by an exciting new website called Asian Correspondent. The beta site is scheduled to go public on Monday, and in the meantime, there may be some changes at this site that may make you feel a bit woozy.

The ShadowLands, in its current format, has been a blast, but the possibility of being part of the start-up of something bigger made us decide to make the jump, not to mention the allure of cold, hard greenbacks. Hang on, what's that about American money? Oh bugger.

Since I will be attempting something a little closer to regular journalism, I have decided to lose the anony-blogging and stand behind my real name which - okay - I am ashamed to admit, was never really Margo's Maid. Also, about those feature columns from John Butler of the John Butler Trio and Cate Blanchett? Oh never mind.

I hope that readers will continue to join me in the new format - it should be a blast. Your patronage here has been more than appreciated, and old readers will be showered with extra fine karma.

Many thanks also to fellow Blairite asylum seekers, BOAB, kae and paco, not to mention some of the old ones like the mob at tizonas, all of whom I will continue to support.

Tuvan throat singing Friday

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Question They Won't Ask

Each week, The ShadowLands seeks to test how much the ABC believes in free speech by sending a question to their interactive Q and A television show. This week:

Alicia from Ovations again re the big pay day at Carbon Expo. Look, Jupiters wants to know if you are serious about your demand for the bowl of m and ms with the black ones removed. They say there are no black ones, only brown.

Also, they say they have checked every florist on the Gold Coast and cannot get the blue gardenia petals you wanted sprinkled over your bedspread. How do you want me to respond?

UPDATE: Huzzah - question rejected.

ShadowLands joins Blog Action Day

The ShadowLands is delighted to be taking part in climate change Blog Action Day, a day where we help to raise awareness about climate change, which apparently is some kind of issue or other about something.

Let's hope those enviro ass-hats will leave us alone after this.

A quick quiz: what are the above people doing?

a) These are the last remnants of the crowd at the Bathurst car races, performing a solemn ceremony of burning the last tyre.

b) Some kind of new age druids marking the change of seasons at Stonehenge.

c) Insensitive people releasing carbon into the environment because they don't care.

d) Envirotards doing whatever it is that envirotards do.

The answer of course is d) - participants at a climate camp at Helensburgh, south of Sydney last weekend releasing carbon into the atmosphere.

All of it kicked off after this event, attended by no media but saved for perpetuity for us on youtube. Can anyone figure out why they needed an abseiler?

At least this year's protest wasn't called off because of the cold.

But judging from the pics, temperatures were well below average, and our enviro-friends must be given credit for the late snowfall to hit southern Australia.

Monday, October 12, 2009


The ShadowLands is about to undergo a major change, and you can expect an announcement within about a week. To prepare for the change, and to practice speaking posh, we are taking a few days off...

In the meantime:

* Park this boat (use your arrow keys and follow the directions to safe harbour).

* How to win a peace prize and accept the award graciously.

* Run along the rooftops, and use the space bar to jump when you need to.

* Cool - it's the piano stairs.

* Still here? Try some lightning pool.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Sound advice

Bathurst, how it should be

From a time when competing cars looked different, there were no draconian alcohol restrictions, and the only ethanol being consumed was being drunk by spectators...and most of all, there was Peter Brock...

Is it just me, or was the Bathurst car race - which is on today - much more interesting in the 1970s?

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Rugby league's worst XIII announced

1. Brett Stewart, Manly Sea Eagles, 186 cm, 86 kilograms. Try scoring whiz and NRL pin-up boy, his team had trouble winning while he was out awaiting trial for sexual assault.

2. Darius Boyd, St George Dragons, 185 cm, 96 kg. Normally plays fullback, but pushed to the wing because of the outstanding array of fullbacks in this side. He made this side on the back of an alleged incident at a Brisbane nightclub, not his famous interview skills.

3. Greg Inglis (c), Melbourne Storm, 195 cm, 99 kg. Extremely talented centre and grand final hero, understood to have given his girlfriend an accidental black eye with his famous fend, considered to be the best in rugby league.

4. Justin Hodges, Brisbane Broncos, 190 cm, 97 kg. Feisty centre alleged to have been involved in a nightclub incident with team-mate...

5. Karmichael Hunt, Brisbane Broncos, 186 cm, 90 kg. Another talented fullback relegated to the wing. Moving to the AFL next year with the mistaken belief that it will give him a lower profile after his alleged involvement in a nightclub incident.

6. Todd Carney, 186 cm, 90 kg. Five eighth currently without a club after allegedly urinating on a man in a nightclub, but linking up with the Roosters in 2010. Should make a devastating combination with team reserve, Nate Myles, who defecated in a hotel corridor earlier this year.

7. Brett Seymour, 178 cm, 90 kg. Journeyman halfback on the way back after several nightclub incidents.

13. Greg Bird, Catalan Dragons, 183 cm, 102 kg. Mobile lock forward or five eighth, convicted of assaulting his girlfriend. Might have gotten away with claims it was an accident had he not tried to frame a friend. Currently not allowed to play in England, but playing home games for the French superleague team. Can be as devastating to opposition defences as he was to his girlfriend's cheek.

12. Anthony Watmough, Manly Sea Eagles, 181 cm, 95 kg. Considered one of the best rugby league forwards in the world, Watmough allegedly lashed out at a sponsor at the club's season launch - the same day that Brett Stewart allegedly assaulted a female. Tough forward who can carve up opposition defences and his sponsors.

11. Sam Thaiday, Brisbane Broncos, 181 cm, 108 kg. Hard working second rower allegedly involved in the same incident as Darius Boyd and Karmichael Hunt.

8. Anthony Cherrington, Sydney Roosters, 193 cm, 119 kg. Youngster on the way up sentenced to community service after allegedly approaching his girlfriend with a knife. Very mobile for a big man.

9. Jake Friend, 172 cm, 82 kg, Sydney Roosters. Enterprising rake, convicted drink driver, and alleged to have hit a girl at a nightclub. Need to be equally wary of him when he gets near the try-line.

10. Stan Waqa, 190 cm, 118 kg, Sydney Roosters. Promising forward alleged to have accidentally slashed his girlfriend with a knife when she got too close.

Substitutes: Dane Laurie, Arana Taumata, Ben Roberts, Nate Myles. Coach Brad Fittler, CEO Tony Zappia.

Comments: The NRL's worst XIII features no fewer than 8 internationals, as well as a range of promising up and comers. If they could stay away from the court appearances, the outside backs alone would probably beat any team in the competition. The bench also has plenty of impact - just ask the people some of them allegedly hit.

UPDATE: Nearly forgot other reserves, talented Souths halfback, Chris Sandow, forward, David Fa'alogo and owner, Russell Crowe.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Passing shadows

* If you wanted to keep your nation's lesbian kingdom a secret, what would you do? Deny its very existence, of course - just like those secretive Swedes.

* Now this is what we call a real prankster.

* Measured reactions from the Obama Grass Roots forum supporters to winning and losing.

* So, Barack Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize and the inventor of the doughnut burger gets nothing?

* If you were transported 2000 years back in time, how useful would you be in explaining technological advancements? The truth is, we would not be very useful at all, however we did manage 7 out of 10 in the technology quiz.